I am a full-time writer.
Each day is different, but I spend some of my time actively writing books, and some of my time marketing and networking. Time away from the computer is important to me, and I try to balance work with non-work things hiking, traveling, cooking, spending time with family.
How did you actually get into writing? Although I have a myriad of passions and interests, books have always been a mainstay in my life. At first, simply because I loved to read and was encouraged to read from a young age, and later, because I discovered the desire to share stories of my own. I had insane amounts of alone time on my hands, and packed bins upon bins of books, but for some tragic reason, only packed depressing books. I dropped the idea of writing until a year or two later, when a story idea hit me and I had to try and write it.
Fortunately, I found a friend to exchange chapters with, and although I was really quite terrible, she gave me just enough encouragement to help me want to improve. That particular story will never see the light of day, but it helped me learn the basics of storytelling.
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You have participated in NaNoWriMo for several times. Can you please explain to the uninitiated the charm of committing to writing 50, words the length of a short novel! NaNoWriMo is a great time to connect with the worldwide writing community, and if public accountability helps you write, then it can be a powerful way to achieve your writing goals.
Those who love it are motivated by deadlines and public accountability. Those who hate it find those exact things detrimental to their writing goals. But you do have time to write something you can later turn into a truly fantastic book after numbing amounts of revisions and edits. For writers who struggle with their inner editor, NaNoWriMo can be the best possible thing you can do for your writing. And you have even managed to win NaNoWriMo twice!
Will you reveal the secret of your success, too? Would you reveal how you do that, and give us a sneak peak at your story? Then I revisited my favorite books on story structure and outlined my story. Currently, I know that I have at most 25 active writing days, which makes my minimum daily word count goal 2, words. After that, I organize my story by chapters and scenes in my writing software hint: Ulysses app! What else is important to keep you productive? My friends invited me to go to the beach, and I agreed to go, not sure how everyone would react to my purple butt.
So I chose to announce the presence of my bruises instead of hiding them.
My girlfriends collectively took a peek. They were amused by my audacity, and one of them even told me it looked like a beautiful work of watercolor art. My sex-induced marks somehow made me feel even sexier; they were badges of accomplishment, not an embarrassment.
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Getting hit and spanked was officially my new obsession. Every time I had sex, I asked the person I was hooking up with to hit me as hard as they could. Unfortunately, not everyone I hooked up with was a natural sadist. After all, spanking and hitting is generally associated with abuse. Instead of introducing impact play to casual hookup partners, I began to go to BDSM-oriented places to seek out the types of men who genuinely felt a sense of sexual gratification from hitting me.
On a trip to Berlin, I went to a fetish shop called McHurt and purchased three handmade leather paddles and hitting instruments, then went to a few recommended sex clubs and found an eager sadist. As strange as it may sound, I shared a very deep bond with my sexual partners who inflicted pain on me. In fact, I think I intuitively trusted these men more than my "vanilla" sex partners.
As the receiver, I was the person in control of how far the scene would go, but I still had to be sure that they would respect my limits. Through all of my experiences, not one man stepped outside the boundaries I had set. Whenever a scene would end, the moments after were full of hugs, cuddling, and admiration. A few months after my initial dive into the world of masochism, I met and quickly began dating a man who truly loved to fulfill my desires of being hit. It seemed like a dream come true — he loved being a giver, and I loved being a receiver.
Sometimes, we would have sex, but our sexual relationship primarily consisted of impact play. We eventually began to venture outside the realm of spanking, and I began asking for riskier types of hitting, such as getting hit in the face which is incredibly dangerous and highly discouraged by the BDSM community , since it can cause serious permanent injuries.
But when I began to get frightening bruises on my face, I quickly had to check myself about how safely I was playing, so we returned to only engaging in butt-spanking. Even though we had no problems with our impact play, my relationship with him ended rather quickly. And when the relationship ended, my interest in getting spanked and hit vanished. It felt as though our intense kink had caused me to reach my carrying capacity, and my desires imploded into a need to return to very "vanilla" sexual encounters.
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With so much distance between those days and my present life, I have no idea how I was ever into such hard-core play, and I have a hard time recalling what attracted me to it in the first place. But I have absolutely no judgment for people who safely and consensually continue to enjoy impact play.
In fact, a study found that BDSM practitioners scored higher than non-kinky people on tests that measured certain aspects of mental health. These days, I approach sex much differently than I used to. So I find myself enjoying sex that is sweet, slow, and pleasantly lazy. When I spend intimate time with my partner, I want sex to feel rejuvenating and healing, not dramatic and performative, like it did during my masochistic phase.